Reframing: Changing Our Language and Perspective
August is waning, and school resumes in a few short weeks. For my younger students, this means adjusting to new teachers, and for some, navigating the new world of middle- or high-school. Whatever our age, we are meeting the demands of everyday life — daily commitments (work or otherwise), living situations, interpersonal relationships and health - and oh yes, continuing to grapple with the ever changing landscape of Covid!
It is easy to get bogged down in frustration, exasperation, spiraling down to feeling that it’s all “too much.” How do we counter this?
One way is through re-framing, a technique used in cognitive therapy, business, and coaching of all kinds. And I find it works well with my students. It’s a matter of changing our perspective. Is a passage of music “too hard”….. or a challenge? Is a task “impossible” …. or do we need to break down the challenge into smaller, more manageable (and achievable) parts? Are we “incompetent” ….. or is it simply that we haven’t learned this particular technique yet?
Often, my students focus only on their mistakes - what is going wrong. So I’ll ask, “What has improved? What is better than it was?" Once they come up with a specific area of improvement, I’ll ask, “What is something you might focus on this week?” For example, perhaps one phrase of music is mostly correct, and we only need to be consistent about a certain group of four notes. When we see our learning as a continuum, it is easier to accept the challenges that come along at each step.
These are skills that can be applied throughout life. I find reframing extremely helpful in my slow recovery from recent hip surgeries! At times, I am frustrated at how slow the progress is… yet I know I’m getting better. Reframing refocuses me to the positive: I have an experienced team of medical professionals and family for support, for which I am very grateful (!), and I need to take this challenge literally step by step.
Language does matter. It affects - and reveals - how we interpret and react to our world. It both uncovers ways in which we self-sabotage, and helps redirect our thoughts to a more constructive frame of mind. And over time, we stay directed and moving towards a more successful outcome.
I’ll be curious to hear if any of you find reframing helpful for yourself, or in working with family and colleagues. Please share, if you are inclined!